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Sunday, 1 April 2012

Hell Freezes Over in Slackware Current

The 'Current' development branch in Slackware hasn't moved for a while. Almost a year after the last stable Slackware the repositories are still on KDE 4.5.5 and Xfce 4.6.2, and here's why! The Benevolent dictator for life has finally had enough.

When I flew over to meet 'The Man' as he is known for a rare interview in his nearest Starbucks he said: "I've had it up to here (making cut-throat gesture at his lower lip). All this new-fangled stuff and new requirements just to run a blooming desktop is really getting my goat. Uthis and uthat, I just can't take it anymore. I've thought of stripping Slackware down to only Window Maker and FVWM like in the good old days but then I thought what the hell. It'll be fun to sit back for a while and watch (Editor: the users) bug somebody else to give them a workable distribution. Let them eat Chakra."

So there you have it, straight from the horse's mouth. Patrick had a Latte btw, for those who are interested what 'The Man' slurps. When asked why he would choose such a girlie drink he blamed recent stomach troubles and too much alcohol in his youth, something your author can certainly relate to as he is suffering from near constant flatulence himself.

In other important news Richard Stallman, the founder of the GNU project and apostle of the four freedoms, has finally admitted that he was wrong all along. "If we were all using proprietary technology and stopped worrying about what is right we'ld be having more fun and the world would be a happier, shinier place" he quipped.
To repent he'll be joining the Dalai Lama and upgrade from Hippie to Krishna Punk. Later this year he will assist in bringing Windows 8 to the masses in China. He is aware this could potentially be seen as subversive action but states no malintent.
Back in his hometown, Ma Baxter, who's known little Richard since childhood, described him as a kind boy. "He always wanted the best for people, but sometimes he could get a little overzealous."

Comments are discouraged, but you can leave one if you're feeling brave. Toodle pip.

3 comments:

  1. This was believable until you got to the part about richman Stallman. Happy April Fools' Day.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, I wanted it to get progressively more unbelievable so Slack fans wouldn't end the day sobbing.

    ReplyDelete

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